Queue Comedy Club Member T-Shirts

Will wait in line 4 food.

Zombie standup

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

If you hold the conch up to your ear, you can hear the ocean swearing at you.

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"Would you like to try them out?"

I'm a paralegal, it's like a flying doctor, only it's about law.

Comedian faces audience of clowns: 'Ooh, tough crowd.'

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

Death Beggar

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

Bob Odenkirk

'These are my 'golfing socks'... there's a hole in one!'

"And for all of us here at the six-o'clock news—and don't forget we'll be appearing Saturday night at Mr. Fun—make it a good one!"

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

When Stupid People Get an Idea

'... and in a startling development, 5 Supreme Court decisions were overturned by Judge Judy...'

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

Monet At Open Mic Night

"It's not you. It's pea."

The chefs were helping local actors who were tired of having short roles... by giving them a long loaf!

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

'Don't start an argument - you know how you hate intravenous feeding.'

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

Freddy Starr died here.

'Nothing doing folks, except ? surprise, surprise ? here's another for you, Desert Island Bloke.'

"I want to report a race crime.'

'No wonder you're backed up.The box says 'ear', not 'rear!'

'A pint of beer and a mop please, barman !'

"You gotta multiply dog years by seven, pal."

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

Seven males, ranging in age from a baby to an old man, wait in a line monitored by a uniformed guard.