Queue-busting Strategist Gifts

'Any chance of utilising the Global Positioning System to forecast the length of the canteen queues?'

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

Test your patience, back in one hour.

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

'I can't believe this.. biggest fight of my life, and I forget to pack a wallop.'

'Oh good! - I hate long lines!'

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

'We need someone on the outside.'

"I gotta go. I see an opening in the maelstrom."

"My goodness, your back is really knotted up this morning, isn't it?"

'He's just come back from a 'stress management' course.'

"If there are more than two people in front of you - we will open another superstore."

A pirate fishes using his hook.

"Do you ever get that 'Monday morning' feeling?"

"Naturally he's not getting his daily exercise. With the postman on strike there is nobody to chase!"

'Don't jump! The latest market sector bubble to burst is making a turnaround!'

"Please stay on the line for the next available agent - unless, of course, you are feeling tired, very tired, or maybe hungry. . ."

Something Like Sport.

"I had a brainstorm at the Existential Marketing Seminar. What if we did nothing?"

'It looks like Barracuda Honey is attempting a hostile takeover.'

'I think he's bluffing.'

'And press nine if you are loosing the will to live!'

'What if I want to stop? Where's the pause button?'

Supermarket traffic lights.

'... Fantasy sports leagues consumed my life: football, hoops, baseball...'

"I weaned Howard off TV sports with a 3-step program. First golf, then bowling, finally poker."

'It never occurred to Steggy what was giving away his best hands.'

“At this point, your only chance is to threaten him with legal action.”

Our menu has changed. To hear this message again, press 1. To hang up, press 2.

A long wait

"Go. The sign has a bigger impact when someone's just sitting there."

'Uh - oh... it seems the cashout queue was really long today...'

'Consider it karma for not voting for the past 38 years!'

"Wish me luck, I'm off to the shops to join the socially distanced queues..."