Questionnaire Quirk Pillows

'Sorry, sir, but we don't have a category for that.'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

Funky Facts: Football.

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

Conference on the Control of Time and Space. Left to Right: Isaac Newton, Aristotle, HG Wells, Ptolemy,Isaac Asimov, Albert Einstein, Galileo, Copernicus.

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"What would you like me to play next?"

Ostrich Curoisities

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'...working for that Professor Schr?dinger didn't help.'

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

Rogue Traders from Parallel Universes.

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

Why can't you use the brains God gave you? Oh, shoot, I think this is Bob's.

"What the?! Have you read about the Schrodinger's cat paradox? That's really twisted dude!"

Shrodinger's cat: I may or many not be missing.

The Cavendish Laboratory,London 1897, J.J. Thomson discovers the electron. "If Cavendish was so smart, why didn't he think of it?"

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

First and last day as census taker...

"This internet survey is asking me to take another survey rating the survey I'm taking."

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

Upside down question mark hanging from fishing line.

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Celestial Sadie, In the Western sky after sunset, Jupitor can be seen nearly aligned with Venus. What do you make of this? R. Yates. Excellent question. That reminds me of a long lost civilization, in which there was no such thing as a typo. Where no one ever hit the wrong key because they wrote letters by hand. Eventually, it became so obsessed with speed that it began typing everything, and so inconsiderate that it soon stopped bothering to proo

"Does this bird make me look fat?"

The Water Diviner

'Rorschach multiple-choice test'