Questionnaire Quirk Pillows

'Sorry, sir, but we don't have a category for that.'

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

Funky Facts: Football.

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

Ostrich Curoisities

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"What would you like me to play next?"

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'...working for that Professor Schr?dinger didn't help.'

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

The Cavendish Laboratory,London 1897, J.J. Thomson discovers the electron. "If Cavendish was so smart, why didn't he think of it?"

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

"What the?! Have you read about the Schrodinger's cat paradox? That's really twisted dude!"

Rogue Traders from Parallel Universes.

Shrodinger's cat: I may or many not be missing.

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

"This internet survey is asking me to take another survey rating the survey I'm taking."

First and last day as census taker...

Upside down question mark hanging from fishing line.

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

"Does this bird make me look fat?"

The Water Diviner

'Rorschach multiple-choice test'

Wow! — this discredits all my theories.