Questionnaire Enthusiast Pillows

'Do you really care about my opinion or am I just a random sample?'

'And finally question fifty, do you ever feel like killing someone?'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

Do you have any other skills?

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"

Senior Jeopardy!

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

Spot Quiz....

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

Help wanted. Various positions available.

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

'He will observe your text now...'

'How many words per minute do you type?'

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

'You don't want the job, do you?'

"And where do you see your mustache in five years?"

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

"Where do you see yourself five lives from now?"

'Have you got a resume?'

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

I think you should go after my job!

Spot the fur ball.

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'