Queen-loving Friend Pillows

'So you lost the war -- it's still a personal best!'

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

Man browsing books see couple kissing in romance section of book store.

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

Dogs Aren't/Are Just For Christmas

"I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may tend to hurt sales of my 'tell-all' book."

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'

"Tut's outdone himself this time."

The Queen

Chippunks

Tiny Tim, who did not die, grows up to marry Little Nell, who did not die, either.

England.

"No, I'm only interested in dogs and cats."

'He's not big enough to use the toilet yet.'

Dog's Sandwich

Cleopatra

"It's true, Caesar. Rome is declining, but I expect it to pick up in the next quarter."

'What really stung is when they wanted the Magna Carta notarized!'

Lady to lady about disguised lady: 'She's new to our Secret Sister program.'

Elizabeth I

British Prime Ministers.

You always wanted a cute leather jacket

The Wellington Statue.

Anais Nin.

'Could you sign it 'anonymous'? It's for a friend and I don't want to ruin the surprise.'

"Broken chairs, unmade beds, porridge everywhere... and a one-star review. Worst Airbnb customer ever."

Happy Holiday