Quality Control Connoisseur T-Shirts

"These instructions are useless. Keep up the good work."

Quality Control

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

Quality Control

"JB wears many hats. He just can't delegate"

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

Rust test in progress.

"I'm a huge proponent of control over speed."

"Office of quality assurance"

'Our only option is to improve quality or hire more lawyers.'

Party ville Trick Birthday Candles: Quality Control Department.,

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

"We're having a lot of trouble with this model, sir - it's lasting indefinitely."

Satis Factory Tour

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

"It floated. I want my money back."

ACME Condiments Quality Control. The boss wants to know if you're going to pass the ketchup.

"And here is the quality control department for our deviled eggs."

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

Quality Contorl.

'Hey! This box of 'made in America' stickers has a sticker on it that says 'made in Taiwan'.'

Doll line: Quality Control - Too Creepy.

At the McWit Eye Labs are two doors, 'Control Group' and 'Out of Control Group.'

Benchmark

"...and into each box, we now put a tiny amount of antidote to counteract all the additives."

'The scary part is, he's in charge of quality control.'

Agricultural Testing Station: 'Over 3 Billion Compounds Tested.'

'Don't worry. Big Al will take care of it.'

Auto Assembly. Ernie, I think they fired you because you were assigned to the assembly line but ere often at the high-speed test facility. I'm ambitious. I wanted to be on the fast track. Why did you remove brakes from cars? An article I read said that to achieve success you should "pull out all the stops." And I unnecessarily drove cars around the plant to show the bosses that I'm willing to "go the extra mile." But why did you refuse to deliver components to the assembly line? The arti