Quality Control Specialist T-Shirts

'But you have to admit management's commitment to quality is working.'

"To be honest, the hardest part was the ISO certification."

'Unfortunately, it's fighting an uphill battle against our first name, which is 'Apathy.''

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

Quality Contorl.

'The sales department is complaining about product quality! Nothing has broken and no customers have needed anything new in months!'

'See, it's not impossible for an obsessive-compulsive to get a responsible job.'

"She says she's from Quality Control. We've failed the furniture inspection."

Kidney Stone Quality Control Dept.

'Remember, the real lemon goes into the floor cleaner and the artificial lemon goes into the lemonade.'

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

Prime Poster Company: Quality Control

'Don't slam the door so hard.'

"We're having a lot of trouble with this model, sir - it's lasting indefinitely."

'Yeah, I think it has too much tannin, too.'

When it's time to go: 'Gentleman, we're talking 'one serious design fault' here.'

'How soon until we can mass produce the stuff?'

Doll line: Quality Control - Too Creepy.

'Nothing to complain about, sir. The new press works fantastically!'

Might Work, Might Not.

"Red. . . Amber. . . Green. . ."

Think zero defects.

'That's not what it says it does on the tin.'

"You're two weeks behind in making toys. What do you mean you now have to test all chess games first?"

Humpty Dumpty, Building Inspector

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

"For our market research, each package needs to be individually marked off and put over there."

"Polly doesn't want THAT cracker."

'Yes!. . . that's a good one!'

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

"At least Trading Standards can't complain..."

"Ooops....I guess this one failed."

Acme Cheese Slicers: Product Testing. "Okay, guys, management says we're falling behind, and...WHOA! Who cut the cheese?"

Benchmark

"...and into each box, we now put a tiny amount of antidote to counteract all the additives."