Python Parent T-Shirts

'No, not the kids - that's where we measure the python.'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

City Zoo: Day Care

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Bond James, Bond."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

Playing Fetch.

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"Just be yourself."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Polly txt speak

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

Grace For Flies

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."