Pyramid Buff Pillows

The pyramids were built using advanced alien knowledge.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

I want to hold your hand

"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."

'Quantum Mechanics is one of the three great pillars supporting our understanding of the natural world.

IMHOtep

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

Home maintenance

'Unfortunately, your resume isn't worth the papyrus it's written on.'

Our 4 Branches of Government

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

'Behold! The curse of the pharaoh!'

'We need someone on the outside.'

'Roughly translated it says 'Can't remember the code to get into your pyramid? Call Pharaoh Locksmithing.'

The first birthday gift.

'This won't take long, Senator -- I'm a single-issue nut.'

'One good thing about this place is that I can honestly say I own everything as far as the eye can see.'

"What's it like, working with your hands?"

"Hello dear- couldn't you sleep either?"

"Consult the people by all means, Your Majesty, but I don't think a referendum is a good idea."

"OK, who's the joker?"

"That chew toy was boring, so I got on your computer. Apparently, neither one of you has a clue about basic computer security and maintenance."

'No wonder people are cynical about government. Fooling some of the people all the time no longer works.'

"On the other hand, he never learned to ride a unicycle."

A boast of ghosts

"That? - oh my husband - a closet bricklayer."

"You are perfectly healthy, your Highness."

Ancient Egyptian Curser

Tutankhamun's Legal Hieroglyphics

The British Hamlet ('Alas poor Yorick, I knew him ...I say 'knew', more of an acquaintance really ...')

Bridge opens for passing swans.

'We have other ways to deal with people who can't pay the toll, Franklin.'