Puritanical Play Critic Pillows

The Joy of Procreational Sex

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"It's a play on words."

Jack-a-box in the theatre.

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

William Shakespeare

'Doesn't txt msg make it 38 languages and not 37?'

'Hard to follow...'

Midsummer Night's Dream

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

"How come there's no feel-good performance art?"

'I said, you're supposed to be in the underworld.'

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

Chekov play and scorecard,

"It was so depressing. When I go to the theatre, I want to be entertained."

Off Off Off Off Broadway

The Modern Godot

'The theater better put on good shows this fall, because we're having a bumper tomato crop.'

'He's a parody of a tired genre.'

"The audience is really classy tonight, they are throwing quail eggs."

What a lousy season - there hasn't been a good comedy in months.

'I see the critics say I need a new partner.'

Edmund Kean Supporting Drury Lane

West End Shows closing - box office piled high with boxes.

"I sensed a fine balance between the misery on the stage and the misery in the audience."

"Oh, don't mind us. We boo everybody."

Sir Rupert Murgatroyd

Shakespeare today

"It's Shakespeare, Mother - please do't keep moaning 'Oh get on with it'!"