Purchasing Agents Gifts

'Would you like to see my sales presentation from where you're sitting? Or would you feel more comfortable in a head lock?'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

Vaccination Passport

Japanese Whaling

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

Supply Chain

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

Meet Santa's entourage

Snow White and her Seven people.

How Many It Takes

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

'Michelle's Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms'

'Therapy in L.A.'

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

'...I know just the man, I'll send him right over.'

"What makes you think this could be a suspect package?"

Landing That Tough Account

"So your agent doesn't like your lawyer, and your PlR. people don't like your manager. They all like you."

"Yes, Your Honor. I am Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

Hollywood, 2083.

"My agent."

'I realize this is your first sales call, young man, but 15 minutes is way too long to shake hands.'

"Aren't you the old guy in purchasing whose decades of slavish devotion inspired us to replace you with a small army of sycophants?"

"A P.R. Intern Named Salome with the Head Shot of John the Client."

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

"Well that answers the question 'Does the CEO understand what we do?'!"

Biblical Procurement Tales: Project Ark.