Purchasing Agent Gifts

'I absolutely refuse to sign anything which requires a microscope and a stepladder to read it!'

"Your purchasing agent is expecting me. I invited him to have lunch today."

e-procurement

'I realize this is your first sales call, young man, but 15 minutes is way too long to shake hands.'

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

"This is what I'd call a saving! A carrier pigeon might be cheaper than a cycle courier, but this little guy is even cheaper."

"That isn't MY definition of contract segmentation..."

"Stupid bean counter!"

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

Vaccination Passport

Japanese Whaling

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

Supply Chain

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

Meet Santa's entourage

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

Snow White and her Seven people.

How Many It Takes

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

'Therapy in L.A.'

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

'Michelle's Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms'

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

'...I know just the man, I'll send him right over.'

"What makes you think this could be a suspect package?"

"Aren't you the old guy in purchasing whose decades of slavish devotion inspired us to replace you with a small army of sycophants?"

"A P.R. Intern Named Salome with the Head Shot of John the Client."

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

"My agent."

"So your agent doesn't like your lawyer, and your PlR. people don't like your manager. They all like you."