Purchasing Agent Gifts

'I absolutely refuse to sign anything which requires a microscope and a stepladder to read it!'

"Your purchasing agent is expecting me. I invited him to have lunch today."

e-procurement

'I realize this is your first sales call, young man, but 15 minutes is way too long to shake hands.'

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

"This is what I'd call a saving! A carrier pigeon might be cheaper than a cycle courier, but this little guy is even cheaper."

"That isn't MY definition of contract segmentation..."

"Stupid bean counter!"

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

Vaccination Passport

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

Japanese Whaling

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

Supply Chain

Meet Santa's entourage

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

Snow White and her Seven people.

How Many It Takes

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

'Michelle's Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms'

'Therapy in L.A.'

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

Employment Agency. I didn't hire him -- Those bipedal guys are are afraid to get their hands dirty.

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

'...I know just the man, I'll send him right over.'

"What makes you think this could be a suspect package?"

Hollywood, 2083.

"A P.R. Intern Named Salome with the Head Shot of John the Client."

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

"My agent."