Puppy Smuggler Pillows

"I understand that you love him like a son, but you have to take him to a vet not a pediatrician."

Canine Companion

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'She's just great with the children.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

"Pssst. Fake poop."

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

'No cheating'

'I understand you don't have a resume but you do have your pedigree papers?'

Car Rides - Cats

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

A dog reads a newspaper

Cookie Thief

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

He Did It!

"Did you or did you not perform the fake ball toss on my client, causing irreparable humiliation?"

Hang Time Fido

"It was humiliating! First, he told me to beg and then he wanted me to roll over and pretend I was dead...so, I bit him!"

"Yes, I'm talking to you. I believe you're the only Sparky in the house."

Puppy Love.

"I'm sure this is an interesting story."

'I'm teaching him to give me a doggie treat when I stay perfectly still...'

Ignore him he's just showing off

"Stay!"

"I have no skills. . . only tricks."

"You know that's not what I meant when I said 'sit'!"

'The young pup not only knows new tricks, he'll do them at a third of your salary."

The School's new healthy lunch initiative, with it's ban on junk food, turned out to be very lucrative for Stewart.