Pup Prancer Pillows

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Talking Dog.

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

A cart pulled by increasingly small dogs

"He wants a second opinion."

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

'Fallllling in heeeeeat agaaaaain

"As I see it, the issue with dog-walking services is that the pace is dictated by whoever is slowest..."

'Nice try, Billy, but dogma is not a puppy's mother!'

Pavlov's Dream.

'She always comes to my ringtone. It's the sound of a can opener.'

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

'Sure, Dog Shows can be stressful, but I just love the time and attention Master gives me while preparing for them...'

'Play dead.'

'My, my, don't we look fetching.'

'Top dog or not, you gotta slow down.'

Why cats don't cook. (sign on wall reads: Federal Law requires all employees to wear hairnets)

Will act like an idiot for food.

"You spoil that dog...."

The Hazards of Dog Leashes

'Don't tell me, your human volunteered you to be in the annual Christmas play.'

Blue-nosed pointer: 'Naughty, naughty!'

"I love the sketch of the invisible owner!"

'What about the arts? I need to learn MORE than just obedience!'

Maude loved doggy fashion.

Ventriloquists dummy.

"Grow old gracefully but don't be a jerk about it."