Pup Portal Ponderer Pillows

'Maybe we should rethink this new dog door.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"So you found an enormous truffle and still you weren't happy."

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

"It looks as if Bodecker's project has gotten completely out of hand."

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

"Turned out he wasn't a miniature."

Fish Food

"Who's next?"

'We're going on a little vacation, and we were wondering if you folks would mind taking care of Spot.'

"Obviously, somebody screwed up somewhere."

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

'Journey of self-discovery' Dog realizes he can make his leg move when he scratches.

This could be interesting...

He's at that confusing stage between chasing his own tail or the mail carrier's.

'I bark, therefore I am.'

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Ken wandered home wondering what the lunar new year would bring. . . like every other man and his dog.

Square root of chicken is egg.

'You've been overfeeding the budgie again, dear.'

"I don't mind being butchered. But I can't stand the thought of my legs going in one box, my breast in another, my wings in another. . ."

"We're not so different, you and I."

"Well, this is getting us exactly nowhere."

'Milton, you really did make it to the other side!'

"Is it too late to get a puppy?"