Punny Pill Popper Pillows

"....and in local news....the suspects in Saturday night's bank heist are still on the loose."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'Time for your pills.'

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'I'll see your diuretic and raise you three anti-depressants.'

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

Medication for the elderly

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

'If you begin to feel unwell, start or stop taking aspirin...'

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

Amnesia Clinic: "Take one of these pills whenever you remember to."

"Sometimes I wonder about what our patients have to take."

'You must take these pills for the rest of your life.' - 'But there're only 25 in here.'

"Take one three times a day and come back in 43 years."

'These smart pills are overpriced!"

"They can't cure the common cold, but why would they want to?"

'It's not quite ready. Come back in 15 minutes.'

'This container lists only one hundred of the most common side effects. More can be found on the manufacturer's website.'

"These have severe side effects but they may not have enough time to bother you."

Wrong pills

"You folks in R&D really did make a miracle drug. I've never taken it, but I feel better already!"

"That's just the meds kicking in."

"Those sinus pills you prescribed didn't work, doc...I put three up my nose every day for a week and I'm still congested!"

'You need to take one capsule a day as supplement. .. After you reach a certain income level, your body stops producing this stuff.'

'Four thousand packets of the new anti-obesity drug, please'

"I hope you're not one of those kids who have trouble swallowing pills."

"I'll trade you my pink pills for these blue ones....what do you say?"

"It looks like your son has problem skin."

"I think they call it a miracle drug because it'll be a miracle if I can get the cap off."

"You'll enjoy the way these interact with over-the-counter medication."

"The tiny one treats the symptoms. The big one treats the side effects."

'No, you're not developing a third eye - it's just a zit.'