Punning Humorist T-Shirts

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

Do it yourself books.

K9 Literati

'Out, damned Spot.'

'Hard to follow...'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

Garden of Eden and scrumping

Bookworm in book, sign reads: 'Tome, Sweet Tome.'

2B or not 2B

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

"Out, damn'd Spot, out I say! Ha Ha Ha Ha!"

"What if my inner demons want to write about bunnies?"

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

'What's your poisson?' (Man reading report on Farmed Salmon Toxins Scare).

"I want to be upfront. At this point, I'm only looking for a casual hookup of Frankenstein."

Alternative Dickens: Oliver, having received more, requests a doggy bag.

"Waiter! - will my pizza be long?"

'I think he'll be okay. He had a mild brush stroke.'

'Blasphemous? Christ no!'

"You may be more familiar with her maiden name, Kelly, Grace Kelly."

"It's a new signal to specify that we don't need Robin."

Baroque Dance Studio

'The frowsting bacchant kept his shelty vicinal.'

'See what happens when you forget to feed your pet?'

'I only collect ghost-written books.'

"Well, my new boyfriend likes to read. He's a bookie."

Chick stands in front of bookshelf marked 'chick lit'

Prison Art - Bent Screw