Punctual Comedian Mugs

Astronaut plants flag and deflates the moon.

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

Optimist

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

"While you were out, Mr. Sundberg, the little hand went from the one to the three."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

"One group gets tiny copies of the 'Times,' the other gets tiny copies of the 'Post.'"

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

Time management office worker

'I'm on my break, Sam... I'll call you back when I start work.'

"...They must be poor catchers, there's two men behind the plate."

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

"Well they are fake ducks, Honey, but not quite decoyish enough."

"Aha! - Proof that this is definitely an iron-age site..."

"Mind if I read a little?"

"Repeat after me... We are vegan... We are vegan..."

'If they don't laugh, we'll say it's art.'

Monet At Open Mic Night

Canoeing Incorrectly

Ferguson, Bramley, Osgood & Holt - Big Frogs in a Small Pond.

'Let him go. We'll catch him in the backstretch. Hippos can run faster than humans, but only in short bursts.'

'Sorry I'm late. I woke up on my back, and you know how turtles are.'

"Two minutes out of the water and he's already evolvier-than-thou."

'You can't come in to play unless you wear cushions on your feet - My Dad's got a headache!'

Funeral for a Cartoonist

"Maybe you just can't tell a joke."

The Last of the Passenger Pigeons