Punchline Perfectionist Prints

'I hope you realise that punching my colleague constitutes an abuse of an official picket line.'

"So the vet says, 'If this is my thermometer, then where's my pen?' . . . Get it!? . . . IS this thing on!?"

'No, not that one, too Woody Allen...'

"You need to work on some new material."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

'Your teet are okay, but you gums will have to come out.'

"Nurse, can you send in the interpreter for Senora Delgado?"

Snowprov

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

'DO you know what time we start here?'

"I see you naked. A beautiful young woman is leaning over you... Oh, hang on. She's performing your autopsy."

"Smite him, my son!"

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

Chicken: the one-man show

'That was Mr.Osgood, sir. He's just made his final payment.'

I would love to learn Karate, but Dad insists I do Boxing instead: He says I have natural disposition for it...

Comedy Rule

"Just be happy you're getting in, worry about your hair later."

"Seriously, the way you rasied me it's no wonder I can't get a gig in a real night club."

"It's easy to test yourself. Go to sleep at night and if you wake up alive the next morning, you didn't die of Corona overnight."

Boxing Trainer: 'And watch out for this fella. He has a huge Left Hook.'

'Wow...This could be the beginning of a fantastic career...A sales coach is waiting for you. He wants to hire you as a bad example.'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

'Sorry, your resume isn't funny enough.'

"Your early stuff was funnier."

'But your advert said, Fantastic view.' - 'She's out right now.'

'He has a great left hook,'

'I gave him the old one-two, but then he gave me three, four, five, six, seven and eight!'

'Don't get up until nine.' - 'What time is it now?'

"...And I don't want any resentments just because someone hits below the belt..."

Bucky's dream of becoming a stand-up comedian ended abruptly the very first time he stepped into the spotlight.