Punch-up Enthusiast Gifts

'Both benches have emptied, and now the brawl is spreading to the spectators!'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

'Your French dip, sir.'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

Transylvanian backpackers.

Fast food. Even faster food

hard-boiled egg...

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"You're such a good listener."

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'