Pulmonologist Pillows

'Wow, breathing! What a concept.'

"Your lung capacity is excellent!"

'Your years of smoking like a chimney have taken their toll.'

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

Bronchial Clinic

The Aestetico-Neuralgicon- An Aid to Delivery of Inhaled Medicines

"Ease up on the exhale."

Clean air.

"As for the helium treatments. . . things are lookin' up."

"Just huff and puff normally."

Smoker's Lungs.

A man steps into a spit in front of the lung disease hospital.

"I'm afraid you have emphysema. Try to avoid sooty chimneys."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

America, are we learning anything?

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"Our war is against cancer."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

PSA Banter.

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Physician tending a mummy.