Pull-cord Connoisseur T-Shirts

"I'll never forget one day last July- it started right off."

Curling your hair for no reason

Woman Curls Her Dog.

'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'

'Would you like to dance?' Woman has 'No' written on her t-shirt. Guy has 'Why not?'.

'I like to wear women's collars.'

'Well, it was just a first draft.'

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

"Hey dude, when I said curls might help, that's not what I meant."

Welcome to my cellar!

"Wait! Do you think the quick release bolts are a good idea?"

The scourge of the 'burbs, cable pirates board another innocent hom in their unceasing search for that one extra channel, the occasional first-run movie, or the highly-prized pay-per-view sports events..

"As far as I'm concerned, gentlemen, this marks the end of the Schwarzwalder String Quartet."

Snake charmer tries sleazy pick-up on snake at a bar.

Swell who has called a police officer to pick up his umbrella rather than bend and disturb his collar

Man and dog hang their tongues out in the wind while driving.

'Hiya, spaceman.'

"Believe it or not, but we're Batman and Robin off duty!"

"It speaks to my desire to spend money."

"Last week, my husband waded into the cords behind our TV to untangle them, and I haven't seen him since."

"It's about this smart T.V. that you sold me, it won't let me watch Love Island."

'When does salmon season start?!'

'That Jimmy is sickening!'

"I don't mean to be a snob, but I know what real leather sounds like."

Highlights of the week!

"Can you recommend any wines for the middle class?"

'Relax - TV brings you a commercial - free hour of a purring kitten...

Danny DeVito

Oh great. They're all females and my equipment only uses males.

'Relax - they'll never get beyond the first underpass.'

The Wool Shop - "Give me all your balaclavas!"

'Dad, do we zap in AC or DC?'

'It's not you... these days angry mobs are all the rage.'

Man to TV: 'I love you!'