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"The first rule of celebrity biography is write about who you know."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

Stephen Spender.

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

"This makes Pamplona seem like child's play."

"How do I love thee….? Let me count the ways…" "I'm going to want a recount."

Twitter censorship

The First Printed Bible

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

"Commandments aren't really selling these days. However, we're willing to consider self-help tips or personal improvement ideas."

Editor.

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

"Personally, I loved your novel. Unfortunately, our e-book editor says it just doesn't work on the little screen!"

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

Al Dante

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

Mad Hatter's tea party.

I'm doing my essay on John Milton's "Paradise Lost"...the video game.

"To 'click to enter' or not to 'click to enter'… that is the question."

"Hello, editorial? This the comics department. One of your articles is leaking on us down here!"

Man milks a book.

covid mask - Lend me your ears

'That's right...his appendix...and it's pure dynamite! Don't you see? It'll be the ultimate insider celebrity memoir!'

"Evidence of Bigfoot or just some clown?"

Modern Day Hamlet.

Samuel Pepys' writer's block

"For the latest in politics, I hand you over to Barb, who will mold your simpleton minds like clay. Barb?"

"We need a better distribution system."

'We won't publish your book 'The Life of a mayfly: An Autobiography' because it's only a page long!'

"We used your unsold copies to build a tree, but it's not the same."