Public Works Manager Gifts

Before the city's hiring spree.

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

Quality Control

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

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'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

Why Cows Leave Home

'Someone's got to do something about these pot-holes!'

"Efficiency savings...protect front line services BLAH! BLAH! refocus on core objectives BLAH BLAH!"

"There she be, lads, the special economic zone!"

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

City Finance Dept: My Way/The Highway

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

'Why don't you start a small business with a loan from a bank?'

Snow Plow Driver Relaxing at Home.

'Dalrymple came to us from the public sector.'

'At 11:35 it's the SLOW sign. At 11:39, the STOP sign. At 11:43 it's back to the SLOW sign. At 11:49 you break for lunch. At 1:00 it's the STOP sign...'

"In the marketplace of ideas, we may not have the best ideas, but we have the best marketing."

Funding Cuts for the Arts

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

'I can not tell a lie concerning the cherry tree: mistakes were made. However, I must consult with my spin doctors before saying more.'

"Brian's considering the optics."

We're polishing our brand.

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

'He's put in a tender to run down public services.'

"This is Bernard, our new management consultant. He is going to be responsible for draining the lifeblood out of staff in a relentless attempt to reach increasingly unachievable and meaningless targets."

Getting Closer

Solution to chuckholes...and have fun, too!

"Well, the drought is over."

Plumbing Company Executive