Public Speaking Guru Gifts

Presentation skills.

'My talk today was going to be on the art of being prepared, but I lost my notes.'

"I wasn't persuaded by his presentation. His logic was strong but his threats were weak."

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

"We think you could gain much wider support simply by re-languaging your bigotry."

Freedom of speech

Speaker: 'I've lost my will to go on ... is there a motivational speaker in the house?'

A Puppet Named Juan

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

They hated me.

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

Campaign for Plain English

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."