Public Service Professional Pillows

David Cameron: 'Is there a volunteer in the house?'

'We do like our announcers to wear ties.'

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Quality Control

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"What was I thinking?!"

Why Cows Leave Home

'It's historic that the inauguration of a minority is now routine.'

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

Flat tax - equal burden?

Elections

Budget

Pile of top secret files on a train. Man saying 'Is that seat free'

'Our union contract keeps us from cutting salaries, but nothing prevents us from charging for parking.'

"To be honest, I'm leaving public service so I can make some real money as a talking head on a cable news network."

"Efficiency savings...protect front line services BLAH! BLAH! refocus on core objectives BLAH BLAH!"

survival of the fittest

Social Worker

Impotent Democracy

I've decided to run for office so I can spend more time away from my family.

'Why don't you start a small business with a loan from a bank?'

Whitehall: Gave honest impartial advice

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

'The government is telling us to get rid of 43% of meaningless targets within the next 6 months!'

'Dalrymple came to us from the public sector.'

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

Funding Cuts for the Arts

"Trust me, Son, you do not want to 'grow up to be president.' "

'This isn't an easy business- you have to stoop low and be high-handed at the same time.'

"The bad news is that we've had to cut most of the services. . . The good news is that we can now tell people in 23 languages what we don't do anymore!"

'I'm going to be honest about this -- I'm from the Government, and I'm here to bamboozle you.'