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"Except moles, madam."

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'Where was the TSA?'

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Baby on board.

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

On the brink.

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Sitting Up'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

'Mind how you cross the ocean.'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

Caution signs.

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

Health and safety notice falling on builder.

Daddy showed me why I should always wear my bicycle helmet!

Mother hen driving with 'Eggs on Board' sign.

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

'Whoa! This was supposed to be an easy merit badge!'

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

CCTV in church.

'So, how bad is it? Who can bring me up to speed?'