Puberty Ponderer T-Shirts

'Soon, you will start to notice changes in your body... massive, horrifying changes.'

"I think I'll be more relaxed once my secondary sex characteristics kick in."

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

Sex Education

'...Sometimes when boys get older, their hair slips down over their lip.'

Acne Cab

'Life isn't fair. Just when girls get interesting, they get taller than us.'

'Don't worry, dear -- The bust is yet to come.'

Wait for it....

"I think he is starting to notice girls."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

'Mom says she has a souffl

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

"I needed a gig to tide me over between baby booms."

'Male, 38, still living with his parents. They asked us to keep him overnight, so they could change the locks.'

'It's not that I don't want more kids Victoria, I'm worried I won't have enough skin for their names.'

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

Psychiatry ward with 'Inhibited' and 'Outgoing' trays.

"You'll find they stay pretty needy 'til about 300 months."

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

'Ted, you won't climb the corporate ladder if you keep taking paternity leave!'

'Well, great! I raise you to be a vicious bird of prey, and you wanna be a songbird!'

'When are you going to take it out of its original package?'

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."