Pub Crawlers Pillows

"Where do you see yourself five beers from now?"

'The Bells! The Bells!'

'Those were the good old days: Little Red Riding hood...The Three Pigs...'

The Early and the Late Bird

"That's sweet, but what does 'bulbous' mean?"

"Honestly mate, I'm not really into football...THIS is actually a rare skin condition..."

'Just as I suspected, guys - looks like we'be got ourselves an undercover wine drinker.'

City centre pub.

"Don't worry about them calling last orders..."

The invisible man gets carded.

'3 pints of lager, 2 gin and tonic, 1 vodka and coke and a replacement liver.'

Happy hour.

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

Man at bar: 'Drinking to forget?' Other man: 'Don't remind me!'

Tuesday is Short Barstool Night. This is humiliating, but it still beats Short Beer Night.

Pair of outstretched arms are stuffed and mounted on the wall of 'The Angler's Bar'.

'I'm trying a beer diet: lager for breakfast, bock for lunch, and IPA for dinner. So far, I'm losing 2 days per week.'

"Sorry lads, I had to make a quick exit - the wife came home earlier than expected."

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

"Look, I'm not disputing that I'm 'big' and 'a wolf' but 'bad' is such a subjective word!"

"Well look who just breezed in..."

"Sure, I'm Irish. That explains the green underwear, doesn't it?"

'Austerity means making my Happy Hour drink last all night.'

"This place has the best happy hour."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

Naval Veterans Drinking at Greenwich Pub

"A pint! I'll need proof, and that's human years, not dog years!"

Best Before 5th Pint.