Pub Chatter Mugs

"Want to come over Sunday, watch the game, and help me start dreading Monday?"

'I've never been superstitious...touch wood'

Death chatting in a pub - "The scythe?...Oh that went years ago. I've got a brand new combine harvester in the car park!"

"Everybody talks about sex but nobody does anything about it."

"Omigod, you have such a cute smile!"

'A packet o' crisps, and have one for yersel'.'

'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in YOUR philosophy.' 'How does that no surprise me?'

'Now his mother's gone, she's nowhere to slink off to and watch tripe on t'telly!

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'Do I believe in evolution? - Well, I suppose we should get it over with.'

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

Pie chart of pub conversations

'I've turned another corner in my life.' 'One more corner and you'll be back where you started.'

'Women, can't live with 'em, can't live without em.'

"Let's go bowling and keep on bowling until the people who regulate bowling say it isn't bowling any more!"

"Yes, we know them. We like them, but we're not crazy about, you know, the other him."

'The way I got it doped out, post-modern man is all context and fragment.'

"This is a 'warts and all' biography with some really great warts."

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"Yeah, I'm selling my bowling balls. Free delivery to anyone who lives downhill."

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'

'I don't let her have her way... she does it without my permission!'

"He couldn't sink that last putt, so now he's trying to drown it."

'I was given a ton of great career advice when I graduated from college. Unfortunately, I can't remember any of it because my entire brain is filled with passwords and PIN numbers.'

"And another thing. When they start telling you 'You've still got it,' you don't."

'No, I don't like them, their shirts make me look fat.'

'Yeah, but did you hear the crowd roar when I hooked the cape out of your hands?'

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

"No, I've never been to the Hamptons, but I have been in hellish traffic."

"I put an olive in my beer and turn it into a health drink."

'You must spend you whole life in here.' - 'No, sometimes I go down to the Crown.'

"Wine improves with age."

"I'd like a glass of tap water, a dirty look and a sarcastic comment please."

'I know you live a life of quiet desperation -- you never shut up about it!'