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Reinforced Concrete

A Nursery Rhyme From The American Psychiatric Society

Rorschach's parents

'I don't know...they all look like cows to me.'

"You're not crazy. You want crazy?"

Pavlov's dog - Pavlov.

Pavlov's Great Great Grandson's Dog

'I must be more progressive, I must be more progressive...'

Pavlov's dogs - 'I don't know about you,but that bell's starting to put me off my food!'

'So the happy meal didn't work.'

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'I've got this guy trained - every time I pull this lever he feeds me!'

"Now, we can get all those repressed memories the easy way or the hard way."

'You have a fear of Thiamine, Riboflavin, Niacin, etc.,...better known as Vitamin B Complex.'

"And then it hit me: I'm salivating over a goddam bell."

Narcissus takes a rorschach test.

High Horses

Magic Mirror Shop: Mirrors that reflects the inner you.

"Because when you put the Rorschachs in your pants I can't use them again."

Loss of memory

"That's Fred's Case History."

"Got any I.D.?""No, but I've got my ego and super-ego."

Jung vs Freud.

"You're suffering from what we call, Well-Adjusted-Boring-Personality-Disorder."

Agoraphobic cows.

"We couldn't connect. He kept spouting technobabble, and I, of course, kept coming back with psychobabble."

'We were emulating Milgram's experiment but legal made us replace fictitious electric shocks with imaginary mild criticism to avoid litigation.'

Emotional Baggage Claim Area

'Rorschach hankie reading.'

"Patient shows definite anxiety symptoms..."

"Then I realised, I was just a child substitute."

'You're not paranoid, due to terrorism, feeling anxious all the time is the 'new normal'.'

The Last Thing a Psychiatrist Wants to Hear When Treating a Patient with a Multi-Personality Disorder: ' Thanks, Doc! I feel like a whole new person!'

'Narcissism Helpline. How can you be of assistance?'

'...Unt yur sufferink from a condition vee call tee 'Edible Complex'.'