Psychology Gifts

"Lassie! Get help!!"

Chill, dude – it's just toys. It's not like you're delivering a vaccine or anything.

"Well, I think you're wonderful."

"Could we up the dosage? I still have feelings."

"They moved my bowl."

"It sort of makes you stop and think, doesn't it."

"You're too self-critical."

"There are no bad dogs. Only good dogs who make bad choices."

"And did that make you feel like a little bitch?"

'Whenever I walk in a room,everyone ignores me.'

"I'm right there in the room, and no one even acknowledges me."

"Meow."

"I'm a social scientist, Michael. That means I can't explain electricity or anything like that, but if you ever want to know about people I'm your man."

"He knows if you've been bad or good, but don't worry. Privacy rules prevent him from discussing individual cases or situations."

"Some people say you can't put a price on a wife's twenty-seven years of loyalty and devotion. They're wrong."

"But, remember, you're responsible for your own happiness."

"With therapy, I've found I don't need it."

Have a day.

'First of all, calm down - your allowed to be on the couch.'

"No, a fear of snakes is not unusual, but in your case..."

Learning Curve

"I do count my blessings, but then I end up counting those of others who have more and better blessings, and that pisses me off."

"Actually, these aren't bad times to be delusional."

'First step is the hardest. You've got to admit that you don't have a problem.'

'And if you ever did catch your tail, are you sure it would make you happy?'

"So, before passing judgment, please consider that science now shows that the male brain is not fully developed until never."

Pavlov's dog eats Schrodinger's cat.

'I gotta go - we're discussing my compulsive communicatoins disorder.'

"Are we speaking to Mr Duck or Mr Rabbit?"

"I bark at everything. Can't go wrong that way."

This is your brain on cartoons

Reinforced Concrete

Complaints and Gratitude.

"Look, making you happy is out of the question, but I can give you a compelling narrative for your misery."

"That's strange. I remember it differently, in a way that aligns with my world view and casts me in a positive light."