Psychic Phenomenon Aficionado Pillows

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Paranormal A-Z...

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

New Road Signs to Watch For:

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

Astral Projection

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

"Folks, if you look out of your window at those clouds below, you'll have a nice view of the Grateful Dead dancing bears."

"Get a tomb!"

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

He snuck in on me again, didn't he.

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

'Well, well - this should create a nice little wave of panic and hysteria.'

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

"Which one is yours?"

"Leon, do you think it's all psychological?"

Psychic diving competition.

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

The End is Nigh

Fear of Flying Seminar

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

"Your husband says BOO!"

"Your veins are too narrow. Let me get our in-house specialist to help."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'