Pseudo-science Ponderer Pillows

Magazine: Pseudo-Scientific American.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'But what is the universe for?'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

Chiller Theatre

God Sneezes Out Creation

"Have you been playing dice?"

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Sauce for the Goose

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

The Origins of Everything

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"I cross the road to forget."

"Is this who I am?"

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.