Proud Parent Club Gifts

"His first fax."

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

'All my children have been successful. Frank here is in the Oval Office.'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Cry babies.

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Impressing dad.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

Children's artwork exhibition.

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

'She posted her first blog today.'

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

'Baby's first two-step.'

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"He looks just like your husband."

'Dear, Junior ate his first house today!'

'It's too early to say but my lad may be good enough to swim professionally.'

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'

"We're going to the park to size up the competition."