Protocol Critic Pillows

It makes me MAD when people think we've nothing better to do than churn out pointless protocols...

'Shame...for a nurse she has the right experience, she's obviously caring and committed, but she was let down by her understanding of door handle sanitisation management protocols.'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

'I said, how do you like my new communication tool?'

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."

"This computer program is very intuitive. It automatically calls me when you do something stupid."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."

"I owe you an apology. When you bought that muzzle, I was mad because I assumed you bought it for your dog."

"Actually, there is such a thing as a stupid question, and you've just asked it."

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

'We're to spend more time engaging with patients on a more compassionate 'human' level...and here are the guidelines on how to do it!'

'We're looking for new, original thinkers...people who can think 'outside the box'...'

You're not selling those silly upside-down tomato contraptions? I confess. They're fun! Fun? They're an affront to mother nature and common sense. A $3 seed packet grows enough for five families. Why sell over-priced fads? Mother nature never offered to pay my rent.

Skills and experience held back by bureaucracy and protocols.

'You can't come into the clean room looking like that.'

"This circle of hell is for those who always hit Reply to All."

'I am becoming a jerk. Get a memo to all departments.'

'Mr Slickovitz will now brief you on corporate creole!'

If the world is getting smaller, how come the postal rates keep going up?

"He's been told he has to cut down on using meaningless 'management speak'...which is causing him a lot of problems...as it's the only language he knows!"

The Great Communicator.

'Attention all employees. This is all.'

"I told mom I won't answer her calls in case a scammer got her number."

Support SABA - the society for the abolition of acronyms...

Everyone is Talking About Blockchain But No One Does Anything About Knowing What It Actually Is

'Just FYI...so far your overall communication scores are pretty dismal. Do go on.'

'Mr. Clark will text you now.'

"Listen Dear, if he wants your opinion he'll ask me for it."

Cellphone Mania.

Modern methods of reading over someone's shoulder.