Protein Diets Pillows

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

Soup of the month.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Queen of Quinoa

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Vegetarian Birds

The discovery of asparagus.

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

'Vegetarian is an old Indian word which means bad hunter.'

Macho Vegetarian

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"You won’t need refills."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.