Protection Perfectionists T-Shirts

"For extra protection, this one is armed with a tiny gun of its own."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

Bug Spray/Sun Screen

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

Perfection

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

"You're welcome."

It turns out people aren't buying our product because it's stupid.

"For future security questions, the name of your first pet should include a minimum of eight uppercase and lowercase letters, numbers and special characters."

Penalty

Desk trays - 'Do it' and 'Do it right this time'.

"Page 33, line 4..."

'This course is a great ego builder.'

A conductor practising in front of a mirror.

Woman trying to straighten a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Cull people who talk and text during a concert you've paid good money to see.

"Sir, you may find this book very helpful, too."

"And on the eighth day, the Lord just puttered around..." "That cloud doesn't belong there. Did I do that? I'd better move it..."

'Very clever, Gödel — your theory has a built-in disclaimer!'

"I wrote it, dear...the Great American Password."

"Come on, we're late. Your crosshatching looks fine."

'I hope it's important, he hates being interrupted during his trombone practice.'

"I'm going to make eye contact only with this side because of the crick in my neck."

'You can't come into the clean room looking like that.'

'Sorry about the accident but it was a great viral video ad for the company.'

"It's no use. We just can't improve on perfection."

'I know it's your best round ever, but did you really have to enlarge the scorecard that much?'