Proof Perfectionist T-Shirts

'Very clever, Gödel — your theory has a built-in disclaimer!'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

Bullseye!

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

Hanging off every word...

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

"You need to take the weak parts of your presentation and work them into something that won't get you fired."

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

'In,' 'Out' and 'Organize.'