Document Perfectionist T-Shirts

'Obviously, if you look for mistakes you'll find some!'

Boss hands over document: 'There are too many abbreviations in your report ? can you rewrite it asap?'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

Hanging off every word...

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

"You need to take the weak parts of your presentation and work them into something that won't get you fired."

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

'In,' 'Out' and 'Organize.'

'Miss Pringle, I run a tight ship! What is this piece of paper doing on my desk?'

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

"We feel you're over analyzing things a bit too much."

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

'And in conclusion, perhaps a change of business model is in order.'

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

"Maybe you do have all the answers but they didn't match any of our questions."