Prophet Appreciator Pillows

The End is Near

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

"It turns out you can 'take it with you' if you pack correctly."

"God created Heaven and Earth in seven days but has failed us miserably with Brexit."

"Do you have a shoe for roaming and prowling?"

Joseph and his coat

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

"Nice sermon. Not too preachy."

"So Mr. Garvin asked, did we all have an understanding in writing? And I said, maybe we can talk about that."

'Oh, it wasn't glossolalia -- he just gets tongue-tied when he preaches about sex and marriage.'

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

Two friars ringing bells

"I like the elephant in the room. With his memory he never screws up our lunch order!"

"That isn't allowed either."

Man at Heaven's gate with different college letter than St. Pete

Today's presentation - God's Miracles.

"Jesus changed the water into wine and everyone drove home responsibly."

'Today's Sermon: Good Cholestrol Vs. Bad Cholestrol'

'No, sorry. You've reached Dragons. Payroll is on extension 4702. Shall I put you through?'

'In your defense, I see you're not very bright. Most folks take the elevator.'

'4th Sunday before Easter... and 5th before my holiday!'

Man on the way to Heaven worries about steps.

Vegetarian Heaven

'Global warming is God's way of giving you sinners a preview of HELL!'

'Tell me about yourself. How long have you been dead?'

'There's something different about the vicar, He seems louder,'

'It's not always the Catholics who seem the most disappointed.'

Corporate Entertainment Area

"Because he didn't even change your name. That's how I know he was talking about you."

'Ferguson always was an overachiever.'

Cover Design to 'The Houses of Sin' by Vincent O'Sullivan

"That's the first time I've heard 'My Way' played on a harp."

'I know where you live!'

'You're not going to like this - just learned you're being sued for corn seed patent infringement.'