Property Pundits Pillows

"Those days of being able to sell any old c**p have long gone!"

'Look, they're slowing down.'

'We don't think of it as an investment but as a metaphor.'

"That's the trouble with youth today. They expect to move into nice car right away."

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

"Look, son, real estate."

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

'We'll convert it into flats and revitalise the area.'

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

Reverse Mortgage.

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

Home Sweet Second Home.

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

The End of the Property Boom is Nigh.

Beef Stew.

'This is close enough.'

House hunting is cruel.

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

"The high price is due to the great view of the beach."

Repossessions

Dog Realtor

'Don't wait too long to decide. A house with a view like this can go at any minute....'