Property Protector T-Shirts

No trespassing. Violators will be shot. Survivors will be prosecuted

"She's a good housekeeper, divorced 3 times and kept the house every time!"

"Whoa now, hold on hold on! I just wanted to read that sign there. I couldn't see it from the road."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

What are you giving Mother Earth this year?

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

The Environmentalist

North Pole

Deforestation.

Nature versus commerce.

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

Natural Disasters

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

'Humans & Lemmings have a lot in comon...'

Child protects planet with umbrella.

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

"I love you too, big guy."

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

Global Warmer 2000.

"Good riddance! They were messing up the environment."

Just Stop Boil

Climate Crisis

Yeah, I know what you're talking about: humans have an unhealthy interest in my horn too...

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"