Property Programme Fan Pillows

'Darling! This isn't a property programme at all! It's the view from our living room window..'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

"Look, son, real estate."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

An exaggeration of estate agents

TV show is called Repossesion Repossession. Man says: 'I see the property shows are reacting to the economic downturn.'

Home Sweet Second Home.

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

Mouse real estate!

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

"Well, it is a good property. The price is low because it is harder to negotiate due to its S-bend configuration."

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

'This is close enough.'

Dog Realtor

'Don't wait too long to decide. A house with a view like this can go at any minute....'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

"Do you have one with a bigger mud room?"

William and Real Estate

Now if you're looking for a handy fixer-upper

'Bless. Wayne's made his first affordable home sand estate.'

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.

"It's a little bit small,but it's got great cross ventilation."

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have troubles with those in the back yard.'