Property Peddler Gifts

Here Lies Edward Lamb - Husband, Father & Estate Agent.

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

"This one has nicer sand, but I think I prefer the tree on the last one we saw."

House hunting is cruel.

"You should consider buying."

"You've got termites."

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

'Thank God I don't live in a Jimmy Choo!'

"It's in move-in condition."

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper."

'My expedition confirmed what we already suspected: Two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered by water, and the rest by real estate!'

Real Estate Life

"It's a new rent concept - fifteen minutes for a quarter."

"When you pay the rent for your one-room studio, you mustn't think about what you can get for that amount back in Iowa."

"That's way out of my price range..."

Real Estate Crispy Flakes: Location/Location/ Location

Goldfish in Bowl, "And this is the sitting room and the bedroom and the toilet and...."

'We finally got a response to our House For Sale sign. The wind blew it down.'

'I came up here because the meaning of life is location, location, location.'

FSBO Heaven

"We love the view. It helps to remind us that we're part of a larger community."

"Is it me or is this mini home trend getting out of control?"

Land Sale

Real estate bubble

A. Einstein. E = MC2. Yes, I do space-time research, but that doesn't mean I know how to get you out of your timeshare contract.

The Movers Strip - Selling houses over the internet