Property Mogul Wannabe Mugs

'Our house is being staged. Dad says we've got a good shot at getting in - if we can pass the audition.'

Model Village/Realistic Model Village.

Psst, wanna buy low and sell high? Huh? This is a can't-miss deal. Buy now and sell in six months for a huge profit. Forget it. I learned my lesson during the dotcom boom. No more speculative investments for me. You misunderstand, fine sir. I'm not talking stocks. That's crazy stuff – for real buffoons. I'm talking real estate. The markets going crazy. Everyone's getting loaded. You cannot lose! Thus a man strode back into the bubble. Look at this condo in the Florida marshes!

"Looks like rent-a-mob's arrived."

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

World Economic Forum

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

"I've just bought five acres of prime oceanfront. Want to help me build on it?"

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'Do you have anything right on the beach, but not so near the water?'

Eye, ear, nose, throat & real estate investment trusts.

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

Implausible Retirement Housing Options

Bank. Moving Co. Joe got an apartment above the bank. He moved his things in today. Now he can say his "assets are over ten million dollars"!

'They're playing house.'

Real Estate Depression

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'

"Occupant, apartment 5C: Congratulations—you may already have won the all-electric Colonial split-level house of your dreams...."

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'

Business men's lunches: Tycoons ?25, On the way downers ?2.50.

Mortgage up: 'Where?.'

Strip Mine Estates - Mineral Rights? They're All Yours.

'Motivation...I want huge amounts of money. Vast amounts of cash.'

Estate Agent - 'They're all mine.'

"Admittedly, it is a bit of a 'fixer upper'."

Warren Buffett

Even heaven is helpless to stop it.

"I told you he was a motivated seller.

The housing market begins to deflate.