Property Ladder Aspirant T-Shirts

"We had something in your price range. . . but it was condemned!"

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I think I'd rather be a billionaire space tourist."

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

"Look, son, real estate."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

The Day Dreamer.

Home Sweet Second Home.

'In my opinion, hold out for a doctor.'

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

'Do you have anything right on the beach, but not so near the water?'

'My fortune says 'you can't be too thin, or too rich, or have too much computer memory'.'

Implausible Retirement Housing Options

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

'This is close enough.'

Dog Realtor

'Don't wait too long to decide. A house with a view like this can go at any minute....'

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

Real Estate Depression

'Frank said if he ever won a lot of money from online gambling, he wouldn't change, He lied,'

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'

"Do you have one with a bigger mud room?"

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'

Now if you're looking for a handy fixer-upper

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.

"That's the shoestring I started with. It was tied around 100 million dollars worth of stocks and bonds."

"Admittedly, it is a bit of a 'fixer upper'."