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'Now if you're looking for a handy fixer-upper...'

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

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"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

"You should consider buying."

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

Real estate.

'And, it's made from scratch not from a mix.'

'I won't lie, it can get windy here.'

Auctioneer of the Year: Edward Hammerhands.

'Well sir, out 'idyllic country cottage' may be a bit extreme, but you have to admit its got potential.'

"You're going to love the 360 degree views with this one."

"How much for the couch without the potato?"

For sale sign 'Don't take that down, it's holding up the house.'

'If it was mine, I'd put it up for sale, invest the proceeds, and get myself a nice little condo.'

'Due to a slight technical mistake, I sold your house to me for £2.50.'

"I love what you've done to the house."

'It's okay, there's a six-figure carpeting allowance.'

'It's not my fault sales are down. The economy has made buyers homeophobic.'

'Before we bought this house and remodeled, this pool was septic tank.'

"Just a little staging for the open house. Homes with a double garage sell faster."

God Bless Our Asking Price

Real Estate Sign - Desperation...

'It's a perfect starter teepee.'

'I'm thinking of flipping this house.'

'Wow, it's just like the photo.'

'Damp. What damp?'

"The house? I can't tell you, I'm not allowed in it, but the garden is great! You'll enjoy it if your masters end up buying the house..."