Project Managers Gifts

Worker sees clock which says: In case of impossible deadline, break glass.

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

'The Federal Government today authorized a ten-year study of all its five-year studies.'

"For my next trick, I will try to meet a deadline during daylight hours."

Hour Glass

"Yes, we see you, Tom... but could you hold your comments until the end of the meeting?"

'Bob will be Godzilla in this structural integrity test.'

"Need help with your computer project? I have 2 teens at home."

To-Do List Chaos

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

'Here's the new project, finished and on time. Don't ask what I had to go through to get it done.'

"Remember, we've got to dig down together as a team to create the right foundation that will benefit this entire project as a hole."

"Well, we can tackle this now when we're exhausted from the week or wait until Monday when we're exhausted from the weekend."

'Surround our project with lots of useless extras so our critics have something to pick at while we ram our proposals through.'

"You are looking at our future billion dollar building extension..."

Communicating with clients without using buzzwords posed a challenge for the consultants.

"I, of course, meant seven business days."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

Where your mind & battle are los

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'