Profit Prophet Pillows

'Here's the improved margins you said you wanted to see this year, Tom.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"The short term solution is money and the long term solution more money."

"Go forth and multiply"

"Graphs are like EKGs, they show the health of a company."

'Stocks dropped today, proving once again that 'life sucks'.'

"...and right here in Q2 is where the 'you know what' hit the fan. . ."

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

"I can't decide which I'd rather do- make a twenty-billion-dollar bid of turn down a twenty-billion-dollar bid."

'Of course, for me, Christmas has a deeply felt religious significance! The stock exchange is my church...!

"Oh, I can't complain"

"Then it's settled -- our strategy is to hope for better things."

'This is why we can't have nice things... '

Perhaps we could get the Saatchis to pain a pretty picture.

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

Smiling businessman with rising profits

'It's clearly the work of the devil. Nevertheless, I see no reason why we can't all share some of the credit.'

'No doubt the upturn will come soon because the sheet of paper ends here!'

"Please enjoy the jingle of coins and riffle of currency while holding for the next available investment associate."

"I think I'll report us to the Better Business Bureau."

"We have to do something about those sales!"

"That's our projected sales."

"Our accountancy firm says that there are a number of ways to interpret the figures... which one do you prefer?"

"And this is where we introduced our new customer care policy."

"Love your feng shui!"

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

Pie Filling Reader

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

"I can't understand it, we did quite well in the first three quarters.

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"